Tell me, does anyone else have this problem? I’m in desperate need of new jeans, or at least long pants for the cooler months, but I detest shopping for clothes. It’s impossible to find things that fit me and my budget.
This is the best I come up with.
Pants that fit my upper lower half (lol), but gape wide enough to just about fit another waist in there. Why? Because I’m pear-shaped.
Most people will tell you there’s something they don’t like about their body. For me, probably since early high school, I’ve wished the generous proportions of my butt and hips were … different. I didn’t want to have curves there.
I’ve asked myself why my shape made me so self-conscious. No-one close to me fed me negative messages about my body. I think, at least in part, the answer simply lies in the evolution of bulk-produced, supposedly affordable fashion.
When small business production translates into massive corporation assembly lines individuality flies out the window. Care about meeting a customer’s needs morphs into achieving acceptable profit margins. There’s no money to be made in accommodating my bottom, only the company’s bottom … line.
At 12 and 13 years old, trying on clothes that never fit properly, I developed the idea there must have been something wrong with my shape. I couldn’t see that the problem existed with the clothes, not with me. But I had to wear something. Baggy shirts that hid my small waist and kinda covered my butt became my à la mode go-to.
Today, at 38 years old, most of the clothes I try on fail to fit both my waist and hips. Clothes shopping is still as unpleasant as scrubbing mould out of the shower recess and I find myself praying that the fashion from Victorian England could hurry up and have its long-overdue comeback.
But, until it does, granny-elastic, cord tie to gather the waistline of clothing in attractive ripples, and paying as much for alterations as I paid for the flipping pants have all served me well as useful work-arounds. No-one’s been forced to observe me walking around naked.
But now I can’t delay it any longer. The jeans I’ve worn for the last 5 years are thread-bare, faded and begging for retirement. I’ve literally worn them to death. So, I face my most dreaded task. I wander the aisles for hours. I find fabulous fashion perfect for anyone other than me.
And then I find them, hidden in layer upon layer of denim, dyed in stunning shades of colour — if you find blue and black stunning, I suppose.
The curve embracer.
I try them on. They’re not perfect. There’s a bit of a waist gap. I could do without the skinny legs. But short of learning to make my own jeans, I realise these pants are as close as I’m going to get to the perfect fit.
“Imagine that …” I say to myself (don’t worry, it was inside my own head), “someone’s finally had the brainwave to make women’s clothing to fit a woman!”
Needless to say, they cost a lot, but I bought them anyway. I want to wear jeans made to curve themselves around the person I am. I shouldn’t have to change the shape I am to fit clothing someone, who doesn’t know me, designed for … who?
This materialistic find was about to become even more precious. As I looked at the pants that fit, I wondered, how many times have I wanted or tried to bend myself, or change who I was, to fit someone else’s ideas, definitions or expectations of who I am “supposed to be”? I’m an individual. Maybe they were never made to fit me.
Being pear-shaped is not the world’s idea of beauty. Yet, that’s what I am. Why accept, or even listen to, modern culture’s ideas on what beauty is? What do I gain if I do?
The colloquial expression that something has “gone pear-shaped” refers to imperfection; whatever is pear-shaped is disappointingly imperfect. That’s what many of us girls think about ourselves, too.
We don’t live in a perfect world. No matter how much I try to change myself, I will always be pear-shaped. Even if I try to control the people or circumstances in my life, “life” itself is going to be pear-shaped. Until Jesus returns, it’s going to have its ups and downs, and its detours to the left and right.
It can be hard to live, as a unique individual, in a world that’s so broken. I think we probably all wish we could have a simple straight road in front of us. We like to know exactly where we’re going and could do without the unexpected twists, turns and surprises around the next curve.
What we need is a life version of the curve embracer jeans, right? Someone to hug in tight around the bends with us, apex the corners and make the tricky roads we travel as close to straight as possible?
For me, that curve embracer is the faith I have. God understands the needs my design requires, because he made me. Jesus lived a human life for a time, so he gets what it’s like to experience the curves. For me, there’s no other curve embracer that fits me better.
Are you trying to conform to the straight and narrow of someone else’s idea of acceptability? Pear-shaped or not, you are wonderfully and purposely made just as you are. Have you a curve embracer that’s the best fit for your life?